In this weeks news:

- Kroon in serious transportation trouble after tiff with tough guys

- LeVene big news: could it be!!?? new shoes???

- Schumann in brush with the law

 

CUTTERS STAR IN BIZARRE CAR FAUX PAS

On-again off-again cutters performer Michael Kroon was involved in a serious altercation with a group of armed thugs earlier this week, leaving him slightly shaken. The police report states that Kroon on the particular evening had left his car (late model suzuki luxury sedan) in his private city parking space to seek "adult relaxation" at a nearby nightspot. On returning early the next morning to the parking complex with an entourage of females whom Kroon explained he was merely "car-pooling" with, a group of psychotic fans armed with baseball bats approched Kroon for an autograph on their respective bats. Kroon was heard to smugly remark "Wrong sport, fellas", somewhat irritating the group, who then proceeded to relieve him of his car stereo, and write off his car in a jealous fit of rage. Kroon will not be pressing charges.

 

DAVE IN SHOE DEAL

Anxious sporting goods manufacturers have give Cutters guard David LeVene little rest this week, as his current shoe endorsement contract is set to expire in a matter of weeks. David is apparently considering offers from several brands such as Reebok, Nike and Converse. Converse are eager to produce the 'Dave Levene', a shoe that allows a player to go from Uni, to work at a supermarket, to the ballgame and even to a cafe post-game while providing superior cushioning, all-surface traction and admittance to nightclubs, as are the versatile star's needs.

 

SCHUMANN DUI CHARGE

Rising Cutters point guard Kepler Schumann was released with appologies from a city precinct after being interrogated for driving under the influence this week. After a lengthy questioning, it was revealed that the reason that he had been driving reckessly (allegedly failing to indicate at an intersection) was that the battery was flat on his car (a classic 1976 Miniature Coupe in vivid crystal white), rendering it nearly useless. Schumann issued this statement: "I hope this serves as a warning to young people. Stay in school".

 

----------------------------------------------------------------

(C) Diamond Cutters Basketball 2001

 

[Allorpartofthisinformationmayormaynotbetotallyfictionalandshouldinnowaybetakenasactualfact

inmattersoflaworotherwiseNoresponsibilityistakenfrombodilyharmactuatedfromthisinformation]